My mum always told me: There is only one thing certain in life and that's that nothing is certain. Change is an unavoidable constant in our lives. Sometimes you think you are in control, but let's not kid ourselves, because we are not. Our jobs change or even disappear due to a huge reorganization, a pandemic seems to be taking over the world and marriages crumble. The big question is: How to deal with change in your life in a positive way? Fortunately, there are ways to adapt to change, and even to take advantage of it.
6 Steps how to deal with change in your life
Find humor in every situation
This may sound strange but it really helps. Trying to find a funny moment during an otherwise unfunny situation can be a fantastic way to take the edge off and to put things into a new perspective. It can help others feel better as well. Staying positive and a weird sense of humor has helped me through the ugliest times.
Talk about problems more than feelings
It's perfectly ok to express yourself by talking about your anger, frustrations, and fears but it doesn't always help you. Letting yourself drown in a sea of negative emotions, however, will often make you drown even more. If there is one thing I learned about my burnout is that naming your anxiety or your fear for what they are and focus more on the problem without labeling your feelings. By doing so, you’ll zero in on the problems you can solve, instead of focussing on the ones you can’t.
Don’t stress out about stressing out
Stress matters. Being stressed from time to time is a very natural reaction. Your reaction to stress however has a greater impact on your health and success than the stress itself. If you believe stress kills you, it will. If you believe stress is trying to carry you over a big obstacle or through a challenging situation, you’ll become stronger and more resilient.
Stress can be a good thing — if you choose to see it that way.
Focus on your values instead of your fears
Remind yourself of what is really important in life. It seems so easy, but we often forget what life is all about. And no it's not about your likes on Tiktok, owning an overpriced designer bag, or having the greatest nails ever. If there is one thing I've learned from the whole quarantine period is that I need so little and still be happy. Family, Friends, Health. If you focus on the pure basics of what’s important to you, you can create a powerful buffer against whatever troubles may be coming your way.
Accept the past, but fight for the future
Change is the only stable factor in life, it's up to you how you respond to it.
We all have that moment in life where it seems everything in life has changed. Losing a loved one, getting fired from the job of your dreams, going through an ugly breakup, and even the current quarantine situation makes you wonder if life is ever gonna be the same. Well no…
If you fixate on the limitations of a specific change, if you refuse to look forward you will succumb to bitterness and despair. Learn from it and move on. Accept the fact that change happens, and it's up to you to decide what to do next. That's your freedom. Don't keep on looking backward, you are not going that way.
Don’t expect stability (ever)
As with any change, big or small, it's up to you how you are gonna deal with it. Will you look for new opportunities? Will you thrive or will you despair? If you are able to look for new possibilities instead of always looking back to what once was you are able to grow!
There’s one thing that you must-do if you want to be more successful at dealing with change: accept it.
As I'm writing this I'm sitting between a wall of moving boxes ready for the biggest change in my life. Moving country, learning a new language, and making new friends. If you would have asked me a year ago how my life would be in 365 days I could have never have predicted this. You are never too old to change, you are never too old to take a different turn. Remember you are stronger and more resilient than you think.
Tell me how you deal with change in your life and how you coped with it. I would love to know! If you rather mail in private that's totally fine too!
With love xoxo Yvon
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